I don’t know about you, but I seem to, all-too-frequently, get pulled into that black hole of feeling that I’m not DOING enough.
You know… Not spending enough time with my kids and family; not getting enough done at work or having enough success in my business; not doing enough around the house; not working out enough; not meditating enough; not seeing friends enough; not doing the things I REALLY want to do enough, like travel; not accomplishing enough in my life…
Or worse, I get stuck into the rut of that stinkin’ thinkin’ “I’M not ______ (fill in the blank) enough.” ( The list is long, so I’ll spare you the details.)
The thing is, my NOT-ENOUGHs can drain me, because there’s just no end to them!
There’s always more I could be doing, and the list just keeps growing.
But where is this coming from? And how do I STOP these NOT-ENOUGHs from dragging me down?
I bring this up today, because I know I’m not the only one struggling with this.
You probably have your own unique blend of NOT-ENOUGHs brewing in your head right now.
And of course there are so many things we could blame for planting these NOT-ENOUGH memes in our minds…
- How about the societal pressure to be constantly busy (or at least appear that way)
- Or the world of subliminal (and not-so-subliminal) marketing that keeps us wanting things we don’t have (or can’t afford)
- Or the feeling of less-than that we get when looking through friends’ Facebook or Instagram pictures
- Or the good old stress we put on ourselves to “keep up with the Jones’”
Yes, all these things could be to blame, but knowing what they are doesn’t actually solve anything for you or me.
Instead, I think we have to work at a solution that puts S P A C E between us and these outside influences.
Because if we do nothing about them, these feelings of NOT-ENOUGH invade us and take over.
I think the best place to start is with the times where, thinking back, you were so into what you were doing that those NOT-ENOUGHs didn’t even enter your mind.
You know, those those times that you were so “in the flow” that nothing could distract you.
And when I say “in the flow”, I mean that you were so singularly focused on something, that it’s as if nothing else existed. Kind of like falling in love.
You were PRESENT.
100% fully engaged, in the moment, PRESENT.
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi wrote a whole book about this state of flow, it’s called “Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life”. Worth the read if this subject interests you.
So, that’s what I did.
I looked back at past moments where I felt free of these crazy thoughts and feelings, and I made a list.
And from doing this exercise, I noticed that this flow happens when…
- Taking a walk, aware of my natural surroundings
- Spending time on single task I really love, like writing or teaching yoga
- Going for a run on my own, without earphones
- Spending time talking with my daughters, one-on-one
- Reading a great book
- Having sex
- Sitting for just a few minutes and meditating
These activities (or non-activities in the case of meditation) are like magic antidotes to my NOT-ENOUGHs.
When I’m in these moments, I’m not worried about having, doing, or being enough. I just am.
That’s when the world makes the most sense, and when I understand how I fit into this life.
And none of these moments requires perfection, or working hard, or pretending.
In fact they’re effortless, authentic, and I’m not in a state of judgment as they’re happening.
So, as far as I can see, more moments like these are needed to crowd out the NOT-ENOUGHs.
The vacuuming can always wait. The blog doesn’t need to be perfect. Social media doesn’t need to be part of my social circle.
Instead, I want, and need, to choose to spend more time BEING present, instead of being busy.
I want to feel like I am ENOUGH.
Because I am.
And so are you.
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To help you push away your NOT ENOUGHs, I created a short 5-minute meditation that will help guide you back to what’s truly important. All you have to do is sit and listen.
If you’ve never tried meditation, basically it’s just about sitting quietly and breathing. It’s nothing woo-woo. I just put it into words to help you focus.
Namaste, and keep moving forward,
Debbie
P.S. Summer Classes begin this week! Boot Camp on Monday, evening Yoga on Thursday. Come try them out!